lucisavu

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more about “Fotbal Joc lovituri libere“, posted with vodpod

Sa vedem in ce faza a competitiei ajungeti:) Publicati rezultatele printr-un comentariu.

Pentru programatori
/*
TOP SECRET Microsoft© Code
Project: Chicago™
Projected release-date: MAY 1998
$History$
*/
#include “win31.h”
#include “win95.h”
#include “evenmore.h”
#include “oldstuff.h”
#include “billrulz.h”
#define INSTALL = HARD
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
while(!CRASHED)
{
display_copyright_message();
display_bill_rules_message();
do_nothing_loop();
if (first_time_installation)
{
make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
do_nothing_loop();
totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
hang_system();
}
write_something(anything);
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
do_some_stuff();
if (still_not_crashed)
{
display_copyright_message();
do_nothing_loop();
basically_run_windows_3.1();
do_nothing_loop();
do_nothing_loop();
}
}
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
{
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
}
/* printf(”Welcome to Windows 3.11″); */
/* printf(”Welcome to Windows 95″); */
printf(”Welcome to Windows 98″);
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open(”a:swp0001.swp” O_CREATE);
while(something)
{
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
}
create_general_protection_fault();
}

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1piuJzS7H-4&eurl=]

Directorul de vanzari, directorul de marketing si directorul general se intorc cu totii de la o consfatuire. Pe drum, intr-un parc, gasesc un lampas vrajit. Il freaca si iata ca apare un spirit, care le zice:
- Va multumesc ca m-ati eliberat, si ca multumire, voi indeplini cate o dorinta pentru fiecare dintre voi!
Directorul de vanzari:
- [...]

Un tip la farmacie:
- Doamna, as dori un prezervativ, dar negru daca se poate…
- Negru? Dar de ce tocmai negru?
- Stiti, mi-a murit cel mai bun prieten si ma duc sa-i prezint condoleante sotiei…

Asteptati finalul
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Cine castiga??
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Toata lumea incearca sa caute sensul vietii, cred ca fiecare dintre noi s-a gandit cel putin odata la scopului lui in viata, sau ce face si ce ar trebuii sa faca si asa mai departe.
Cei care si-au trait viata sigur se gandesc ce au facut toata viata. Cred ca majoritatea oamenilor de pe aceasta planeta [...]

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more about “Farse“, posted with vodpod